Coming Out of the Closet
by Riles
Summary: One-shot. A short humor fic of what can happen when obsession reaches its peak. Set pre-Shippuden.


Dislcaimer: I do not own Naruto. But one day when I am a multi-billionaire, you will be amazed as the rights to Naruto are handed over to a mysterious sixteen-year-old girl.

---

"There it is… target: Uchiha Sasuke's closet."

"I _know_ why we're here, billboard brow."

"Shut up, Ino pig! I wouldn't have invited _you_ along if I didn't think your Mind Transfer jutsu would've been useful!"

"At least I _have_ a useful technique!"

"I do so! Now stop talking or go home!"

"And leave you alone with Sasuke's closet? I don't think so!"

"Just shut up and make sure Sasuke's not coming while _I_ find out what Sasuke has hiding in there."

"And you're sure Naruto's reliable?"

"Are you willing to take the chance if he's not?"

"I don't want to get caught by Sasuke in his house!"

"Then keep a good watch!"

"I'm coming with you! If you find anything interesting, I'm going to know about it!"

"I'll tell you when I get out!"

"You'll hide something, I know it! I'm coming, so shut up and get moving!"

Sakura glared at Ino, not trying to hide her annoyance. Sometimes—almost all the time—she really hated this girl. Always trying to move in on Sasuke when she wasn't looking… and now she was asking for her help! Naruto had pointed out that Ino's Mind Transfer jutsu would be perfect to get them out of a tight spot if someone came inside. She could easily take over their body, and then Sakura could carry Ino's body away until the blonde returned to her own form. By that time, she planned to be far away from any insinuations about breaking and entering.

At the moment, however, no one had entered the house except for themselves and Sakura was stuck with Ino's company. Naruto had better not have lied when he said Sasuke was being awfully secretive with a book he hid in his closet.

Sakura and Ino crept up to the closet door, each appearing on either side of it. Sakura, being closest to the door handle, grabbed onto it and glanced at Ino. At a nod from her rival, she twisted the knob and carefully peered into the darkness. The small amount of light that was emitted from the room beyond showed Sakura a large, walk-in closet with several bureaus and wardrobes, but that was all she could gather before a hand gave her a shove inside.

"Hurry up, billboard brow! If you stand around gawking, Sasuke'll come back before we find his diary! _Whoa!_"

Sakura growled as a sudden darkness overtook the room and Ino fell on top of her. "Ino, you pig! What are you doing? I can't _see_!"

"Someone pushed me!"

"What?"

"Someone pushed me inside!"

"You liar. You're just trying to annoy me." _And it's working._

"Don't be an idiot, Sakura; why would I lie about this? Someone pushed me in and shut the door!"

Sakura stood up and brushed herself off, glad Ino couldn't see her trying to compose herself in the dark. She gave an annoyed sigh and stepped toward the door, almost tripping over Ino in the process. She twisted the doorknob, but to no avail—the door was locked.

"This is bad."

"What is?"

"The door's locked."

"It's _locked_?"

"I just said that!"

"So break it down!"

"And have Sasuke know we were here? I don't think so!"

"It's either that or we get caught inside here!"

"Maybe there's another way out."

"Did you see one?"

"No. You didn't give me enough time to look inside before you pushed me in!"

"It's not my fault! I didn't know we were about to be locked in without any light!"

"There's probably a light switch in here, right? Find it and we can find a way to get out of here. And find that dairy."

They scrambled about for a minute in the darkness before Ino found the switch. The light that flooded the room revealed the smirk on her face at the victory. Sakura sneered and proceeded to look around the room for the book they had come for.

"What are you doing?" Ino asked.

"Searching for his diary, what else?"

"Don't you realize that someone knows we're here? We need to escape!"

"Yeah, but they also don't care that we're in here. I say we just get the diary, see what's in there, and then go. If we're lucky, we'll find what we need without any trouble."

"That depends on who put us here in the first place. What if it was Sasuke?"

"Sasuke wouldn't lock us in the place we were trying to get to."

"Who else could it have been? A robber trying to get us out of the way?"

"What would Sasuke have of interest? He makes enough to keep himself alive."

A vein suddenly popped in Ino's head. "I bet it was Naruto!"

"Naruto?"

"I bet there's no diary in here at all, and Naruto just wants to get us in trouble! I'm gonna kill that little punk!"

Sakura's expression showed slight worry over this prospect. "It could've been, and I can't find any diary…"

_NARUTOOOOOOO! YOU BETTER PRAY INO GETS TO YOU FIRST, BECAUSE THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT FOR HER IF I DO!_

Sakura searched for some time more, but with no luck. Whatever "secret book" Naruto had spoken of either wasn't in this room or didn't exist. Unfortunately, Sakura was leaning towards the latter. Ino collapsed against the door, obviously irritated. Sakura sat down with her back to one of the bureaus and took a moment to glare at the blonde across from her.

"We're in trouble."

"Obviously," Ino said. "Did it take you that long to realize it?"

Sakura glared again. "We can't break the door and there's no other way out."

"Use that big head of yours. There has to be some way out of this."

"Don't tell me what to do! If there was another way, I would've thought of it already!"

"Don't tell me what not to do! I'll do whatever I want!"

"And if you do that, you'll probably get us caught!"

"Oh, like we're not going to as it is!"

"Maybe we could hide and then sneak out when Sasuke gets back."

"Sasuke's way too good to fall for something as stupid as that!"

"Well, it's the only idea we've got right now that doesn't involve definitely getting caught!"

The two girls glared at each other, heat rising in their faces. There was silence for several moments as all they could do was stare.

"It had to be with you."

"Excuse me?" Sakura said.

"Of all the people I could've been stuck in a closet with, it had to be you."

"Well, you're not my first choice either."

"All we need is the fire and I'd be in hell."

"I'm telling Sasuke you said that. If we get caught."

"Why would he care?"

"You hate being in his closet."

"I think that would actually please him."

"Yeah, but if I never let you live it down, it's gonna suck for you."

There was a pause. "Maybe we should… go through his clothes. You know, just to make sure they're all clean and everything."

"_Ino!_"

Ino scoffed. "Don't pretend like you don't want to!"

"That's a _huge_ invasion of privacy!"

"It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! We could, you know, borrow one of his shirts or something."

"What if Sasuke found out? What am I saying, of _course_ he'd find out!"

"Well, if we took a shirt or two and then broke down the door, he'd know someone had been in his house, but he wouldn't know who, right?"

"Who else would steal his shirts?"

"Well, you're Miss Morals and I'm too cool to do something like that."

"And yet here we are."

"Sasuke doesn't have to know."

Horribly, terribly, Sakura was considering this. She really did love Sasuke… it was her obsession. To be able to go into her room every night and press Sasuke's shirt to her nose, to be able to cling to his beautiful scent….

To be hated by him for the rest of her life.

Actually, he did that already.

Sakura paused. "I'm in."

"Good," Ino said. _I'd have knocked you out if you weren't._ "Let's find out which of these has his shirts."

Ino and Sakura stood and rummaged through Sasuke's closet for only a few moments when Sakura let out an, "Aha!"

Ino hurried over and peered over Sakura's shoulder as the pink-haired girl relished her victory smirk. "It's a good thing he has plenty of shirts."

"He needs a new wardrobe," Ino commented. "Haven't you ever wondered what he would look like in leather?"

An image flew through Sakura's mind, and she bit her lip to try and hide the smile that was forming. "It would be impossible to fight in that."

"His pants would rip."

Both girls smiled.

Sakura suddenly smacked herself. "No! I can't believe we're doing this! I feel like some old, perverted man!"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're backing out now."

Sakura pursed her lips. "No. But these thoughts…"

"You're a teenager. Get used to it."

"But it's Sasuke. I shouldn't be thinking about this until marriage…"

Ino scoffed. "As if you'll be marrying him."

"I will so!" Sakura said, sending a glare to the girl next to her. "As if he'd be interested in anyone else!"

"As if he _wouldn't_ be interested in me!" Ino said.

"_No one_ would be interested in you!" Sakura spat.

"You certainly were!"

"Don't say it like that! You make me sound like a lesbian!"

"Maybe you are! The way you were always clinging to me like some lost puppy… really, Sakura, you make people wonder."

"You're the one that _let_ me cling to you, so what does that make you?"

"A nice person."

Sakura burst into laughter.

Ino sent her an annoyed look. "I am. Now let's just get these shirts and get out of here."

Sakura took a moment to gain her composure. "Right. So… I don't suppose it matters which shirts we take?"

"Of course not," Ino said, as if this was obvious. But, as she knew well, it did matter. If Sakura grabbed one of the cleaner ones, the scent of Sasuke would dissipate quicker. The ones that had been in his closet the longest had the smell of his closet, and thus of Sasuke, more embedded into the fabric. Ino grabbed a shirt from the back of the bureau while Sakura grabbed one on top. The younger girl sent the blonde a suspicious look, but did not change the shirt she had chosen.

Ino headed toward the door, and had almost been ready to kick it down when she paused, foot in the air.

"Something wrong?"

"I was just thinking… maybe a pair of his shorts wouldn't be so bad."

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Are you _crazy_?"

"While we're here, we may as well make the best of it! It's not as if we'll have this opportunity again."

"This is _insane_! What next, a pair of his underwear?"

A mysterious gleam came into Ino's eyes.

"_No._"

"C'mon, Sakura, you know you—"

"Taking his underwear is beyond liking him; that goes in the stalker category."

"Sakura, you _do_ stalk him."

Sakura was about to protest to this before she realized its truth. Her life consisted of following Sasuke to see when she could "accidentally" bump into him.

"I'm taking more of his clothes. If you don't want them, fine. That just means I love Sasuke more than you do."

She had pressed the magic button. Sakura's competitive nature flared, and she stormed away to the bureaus, searching for Sasuke's shorts, underwear, and anything else she could find that he had extras of. The two girls pillaged the closet for ten minutes, searching for everything—_anything_—that they could take with them. By the time they were through, their hands quite full, Ino had a hard time breaking the door down without dropping something.

More light flooded into the closet as the door fell down. Sakura expertly used her elbow to turn off the light switch and followed Ino to the door, quite pleased with the way her day had turned out. She hadn't found Sasuke's diary, but she'd found everything else he owned.

Ino stopped to open the door, but once it was open, did not proceed out. Sakura stared at the blonde for a moment before giving an agitated sigh. "Today, Ino."

A head tilted and the dark eyes of Sasuke Uchiha bore into her own. Sakura felt the breath leaving her.

Naruto's voice sounded as he said, "What are you doing? Planning on cosplaying as Sasuke or something?"

Sasuke turned to his left, his emotionless stare in place. "What are you doing in here?"

Naruto suddenly came into Sakura's view, a culpable look plastered onto his face. "Um… nothing?"

Sasuke walked past the two girls holding his belongings and stared for a moment at his closet. "You broke down my door."

"Well, it was locked! Someone locked us in!"

Sasuke turned and stared at them, then past them.

Naruto was grinning guiltily.

Sasuke turned his gaze to the two girls, met their eyes, and then turned his stare down to what was piled in their hands.

Ino dropped everything and ran.

Sakura followed Ino immediately, skillfully not dropping a thing.

---

A/N:

Ta dah! I don't know what this is. It was going to be the first ficlet in a possible/probably future series, but then it was really long… so… it became a one-shot. Thanks for reading this, and let me know what you think!

Riles


End file.
